Whats ur star sign (no flames please)

.:VIRGO:. The Virgin
Dominant in relationships. Sexy. someone loves them right now. Freak in bed. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Intellectual. Attractive. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Hard to forget Love at first sight. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. Ultimate sexiness. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
.:SCORPIO:. The sex addict
Can be mean. EXTREMELY sexy. Intelligent. Energetic. Predict future. Most erotic. (Freak in bed.) (GREAT kisser.) Always get what they want. Sexy. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. The sexiest ever....Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
.:LIBRA:. The lame lover
Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing n Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? not the kind of person you wanna #### with... u might end up crying... the most irresistible. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
.:ARIES:. The Liar
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontanious. Not one to #### with. Erotic. Funny. Take you on trips to the moon in bed. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY sexy. Loves being in long relationships.=) Addictive. Loud. best in bed. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
.:AQUARIUS:. Does it in the water
Trustworthy. Sexy. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. Amazing in bed, THE BEST LOVERS BETTER THAN EVERYONE! 2 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
.:GEMINI:. Does Twosomes
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you the #### out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. ULTRA SEXY. THE MOST IRRESISTABLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
.:LEO:. The Lion in bed
Great talker. Sexy and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
.:CANCER:. The Cutie
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high ### appeal. Great in bed!!! Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak in bed. Spontaneous. Great tellin stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
.:PISCES:. The Piece of ass
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT. Very high ### appeal. Has the last word. The best to find, hardest to keep. Fun to be around. Freak in the sheets. Extremely weird but in a good way. Super good in bed. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. A partner for life. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
.:SAGITTARIUS:. The Sexy one
Spontaneous. Horny. Freak in Bed. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. The one. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? Not the kind of person you wanna with you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not
.:CAPRICORN:. The passionate Lover
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irrestible, awesome kisser. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. BY FAR the BEST in BED. Very sexy. Coolest. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Loves to be your first. So you'll never forget. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
.:TAURUS:. The Tramp
Aggressive. Freak in bed. Rare to find! Loves being in long relationships.=] Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Sexy as ........ Loves to help people in times of need. Outstanding kisser. Very funny. Awesome personality. Stubborn. Sexual as ......... Most caring person you will ever meet! One of a kind. Not one to #### with. Are the most sexiest people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

Some Jokes

A

man was driving well above the speed limit when a police car suddenly

emerged from behind, sirens blaring. Thinking he'd outpace the cop, the

man pushed his accelerator to the floor. His car's speed rose to sixty, then

seventy, eighty, and ninety. Finally, the man thought, what the heck, and

pulled over, ready to receive a speeding ticket.

The police officer got out, leaned over the man and said: .Listen, Mister, I

have had a really lousy day, and I just want to go home. Give me a good

excuse and I.ll let you go..

The man thought for a moment and said: "Three weeks ago my wife ran off

with a police officer. When I saw your car in my mirror, I thought you were

that officer and were trying to give her back to me".

No ticket.

******

An eager young man entered his prospective boss's cabin for an interview,

Said the boss .One thing our company is very particular about is cleanliness.

I hope you wiped your shoes on the doormat while coming in?.

Yes, sir,. the young man replied promptly.

Back came the rejoinder, .One more thing we.re very particular about is

honesty. There is no doormat outside!"

********

A salesman was dismissed because he was rude to a customer. A month

later the sales manager spotted him walking about in a police uniform.

"I see you.ve joined the force, Bhatnagar,. said the sales manager.

"Yes, Sir. This is the job I.ve been looking for all my life. Here the customer

is always wrong."

**********

The police car, its siren blaring, raced in front of a speeding car and forced

it to stop.

A heavily built policeman got out and walked over.

"Your name, please?" asked the policeman, taking out his notebook and pen.

"Certainly, officer," replied the driver. "It.s Horatio Xerxes Laertes Idomeneus

Aeneas Asclepius Iphicles Menoeceus Memnon Philoctetes Tyndareus Hylas."

The policeman thought for a moment, then looked at his notebook, shook

his head and said: "I'll just give you a warning this time . don't break the

speed limit again."

************

A man who had just died, arrived at heaven.s gate. Before allowing him

entry, St. Peter asked him if he.d ever loved a woman.

"No,. the man replied, .Not a single one."

"Did you have a friend you cared for?"

"No."

"Perhaps you loved a pet? Did you not feel a love for nature?"

"No."

"What took you so long to get here?" asked a surprised St. Peter. .You.ve been

dead for ages.

*******

A tea manufacturer wanted a new advertising gimmick, so the senior creative

man at the advertising agency decided to go to Rome to see if he could

persuade the Pope to make a TV commercial.

"We'll give you one hundred thousand pounds for a ten second commercial,"

the ad man told the pontiff. All you have say is: "Give us this day our daily

tea.."

"I.m sorry,. replied the Pope, .but I can.t do that."

"Five hundred thousand," offered the adman.

"I.m afraid not," said the Pope, solemnly.

"All right. One million pounds. And that.s our very last offer."

But still the Pope refused. On his way back, disappointed adman turned to

his secretary and said: "It's odd that the Pope refused to do a commercial for

tea. I wonder how much the bread people are giving him."